There comes times in every one's life, where it seems as if the world is crumbling around you. You know that it is not crumbling, but it seems as if it is. We all know that perception is viewed as truth. I have to admit, this is one of those times for me. I am sitting in the airport getting ready to fly back to Atlanta and I am alone with my thoughts. It is very therapeutic for me to right down what I am thinking and feeling in hopes that it will help others as well as help myself. Yesterday, I got the high honor of speaking at the home going service of my grandmother. Hear me, it truly was an honor, but just because it was an honor doesn't mean that it wasn't hard. What was interesting for me was it was at the church i grew up in, Mt. Ephraim Baptist Church. What is also interesting it is where I have my earliest memories of someone telling me that they thought I would be a pastor someday. It was a bit of a full circle for me. On top of that, as I was flying in on Sunday, I heard some tragic news that a buddy of mine from Nashville had lost his life in a car wreck, he is leaving behind his wife and three kiddos. Wow, I am still processing this. Then yesterday I received some news from a buddy that was not the best, that impacts his family in a big way. So as I sit here in the Atlanta airport sipping on my Starbucks (there were no local coffee shops available, don't judge me my hipster homies), a question keeps coming up in my head and my heart. The question is this, "Do i believe what I say about the Lord, or do I say what I say because I am suppose to?" If I may be really transparent here, that is a hard question. I have given my life to living what I say. So to ask such a question that could unearth so much, is dangerous. Or is it not so much dangerous as it is necessary? I believe that it is a very necessary question. The answer that I came to is, that I believe what I say. Better answer is, I believe what the Lord says about who He is. Best way to explain how I came to this conclusion is by telling you a story about breakfast this morning. You may be thinking what does breakfast have to do with such a profound question. I am glad you asked. Let me attempt to explain it to you. My dad and I went to breakfast at Waffle House this morning, which I was very much looking forward to, the Waffle Houses in Texas do not compare to the Waffle Houses in Georgia. The ones in Texas or a little off. Let's get back on track, my dad and I sat at breakfast this morning and we talked. We talked about my grandmother, we talked about marriage, we talked about my brother that has passed, we talked about family dynamics, we talked about all kind of things. We laughed, we got quiet, we laughed some more. My dad dropped my off at the airport and I grabbed my dad's hand and told him that I loved him and he told me to call him when I got home and I told him that I would. That might not seem like a big deal, but that has not always been the dynamic of me and my dad's relationship. We have come a long, long way to say the least. The journey to get to where we are now, led us through a lot of pain. What I am learning is to get to God's best and the destination He has for us, typically will involve something hard. I just look at what Jesus endured on the cross, but I look to what happened after the cross, death being defeated and Jesus is now seated on the throne, because the redemption of man has been completed. So this is not blind faith I am talking about, it is evidence faith. I have seen the evidence of the Lord working the hard, painful, difficult things out for the good. So I am going to trust what I have seen and remember that if He is able to redeem the painful things, He is able to do it again. I think maybe I need to repeat that for myself again and maybe for someone who is reading this, He is able to do it again. Redemption is what He does. I know that I have more tears to cry, I know that more pain will come, I know that the way will grow cloudy, but I also know that He will wipe the tears, that He is the balm for my soul, and that He will make a way when there seems to be no way. I know I will need to be reminded of this truth, I am good a forgetting what I need to remember. I know that he will remind me. I understand that this journey will not always be fun, but I know that I don't go alone. I am choosing to trust. I am choosing to remember what is true. I am choosing to take a step, even though that step is a hard one. One step at a time and I know I will get to where I need to go. So for those that are weary, for those that are broken, for those that are struggling. Know He has not forgotten you, know He sees you, know you don't walk alone. This is just me being real, transparent, and vulnerable. I have not arrived and I realize that this is a journey, but I am choosing to continue to walk.
