the Outsiders...

You know as early as I can remember, I have been trying to fit in. It is a crazy thing, as soon as we are old enough to realize that there is an in crowd, we want to be in it. Pun is definitely on purpose. I remember as early as kindergarten, I wanted to sit at the table with the cool kindergartners, whatever cool is in kindergarten. I remember later in grade school trying to make sure I had the right clothes, shoes, etc. When I was in the fifth grade, my family did not have a lot of money. I remember that the shoes to have at the time were the, Deion Sanders'. They were the stuff. If you are as old as me, you know what I am talking about. Well, we did not have an extra $120+ dollars sitting around, so my parents bought me the off brand "Sanders" from K-Mart, that cost about $20. Well, I was very embarrassed to wear these bad boys. Because I was afraid of not fitting in. I use to think that I would eventually get over this need to fit in when I became an adult, but I found that it may even be worse when you get older. There is this unsaid pressure to live in the right neighborhood, drive the right car, and have the right size television. May i say, it is tiring work to try and fit in. But I am starting to realize that being an outsider is synonymous with being a Christian. Have you read the bible lately, Jesus was the ultimate outsider. He did everything opposite of the way that the world did it. Not only was he comfortable with being an outsider, he encouraged his followers to do the same.
So I find myself at a crossroads, do I continue to work to fit in to this world, or embrace my calling to as an outsider? Well, I have decided that I am going to stop trying to fit in when I have been called to be an outsider and different. You know what, living in that freedom makes for a lot less stressful life. Don't get me wrong, I still feel the tug to fit in and do what everyone else is doing, but I am going to embrace my call to be like the ultimate outsider, Jesus Christ. So with pride and confidence, I would like to introduce myself, I am Nick Person and I am an outsider...

Outsiders-Needtobreathe

Shortfalls of little sins
Close calls and no one wins
Stand tall but running thin
I’m wearing thin

Oh, why are we keeping score?
Cause if you’re not laughing,
Who is laughing now?
I’ve been wondering
If we stop sinking
Could we stand our ground?
And through everything we’ve learned
We’ve finally come to terms,
We are the outsiders.
Oh, we are the outsiders, oh

I’m not leaving without a fight.
I got my holster around my side.
Just ‘cause I’m wrong it don’t make you right.
No you ain’t right.

Oh, why are we keeping score?
Cause if you’re not laughing,
Who is laughing now?
I’ve been wondering if we stop sinking,
Would we stand our ground?
And through everything we’ve learned,
We’ve finally come to terms.
We are the outsiders,
Oh we are the outsiders, x7

(On the outside,
You’re free to roam
On the outside
We found it home
On the outside
There’s more to see
On the outside
We choose to be)x2
On the outside

Why me?

I don't know why he would choice me. Lately I have been overwhelmed by the love of our Heavenly Father. It seems lately that I have chosen my way instead of his, the things of this world instead of keeping my mind on things above, putting on the throne, instead of worshipping the God that is already seated there. Yet, time after time He decides that he wants to use me to get the glory. Why me Lord? I am far from perfect and so many times I will choice what I want and forget about the call that the Lord has laid no my heart, yet, because God is far grander that I could ever hope to be, he uses me. With my scars, a lot self inflicted, with my shortcomings, with my lack of faith, with my indecisiveness and the list goes on and on. Yet despite all I have stacked against me, the Lord still chooses to use me. Why me? Why would he love me? When so many times in my life I say with the decisions in my life that I love me more that I love him. I am starting to get maybe why it is that he chooses me. Because despite all of my flaws, when the Lord uses someone like me to preach his gospel and to be a part of his story, He gets the glory. Because only a God like that could use someone like me. So I have come to a conclusion about myself, I want to be used by God and because of this I want to live up to the name that his has given me, Holy! I want to live a life that is set apart! I am glad that God can use someone that chooses my way, but how much could he use someone that chooses Him? I want to find out. I know why me, so that God can get the glory.