Antidote...

I am a people watcher, I think I have mentioned that before. Now, when I say a people watcher I am not talking about being a creeper. When I say a people watcher, that means that I watch people, how they respond to other people, the faces they make, and just their personalities. I think I have always been that way. With people watching you begin to pickup on what is bothering people and the needs of people. Which when confronted with other's issues, you are forced to make a decision, either ignore the problem or help with the problem. I would have to say, it use to be a lot easier to ignore the problem. I would always ask myself, "what can I do?" Or I would make myself feel better by saying that someone else will help, even if I don't know who that is or when that would be, that would make me feel better about myself. But the older I get and the more I am trying to become, or should I say, the more I am made to look like Christ, the harder it is becoming to look the other way. May I say, that makes my life a little bit more complicated, because you can't help everybody. Isn't that what the popular thought is these days, you are only one person, what can you do. I have to say, I have used that as an excuse for a long time, but then I came face to face with a situation that changed things for me.
I had the privilege of teaching an abstinence class a few weeks ago and I always ask the kids some questions to start out the classes. One of the questions I asked the class was what is their family goal. Meaning, what would there perfect family look like. Most of the answers consisted of women who look like Beyounce and good in the question, but one of the answers i received from the students perplexed me and the class, he said his perfect family would consist of him having a dad... yes this was a pin drop moment. You know, one of those times you could hear a pin drop because of the silence. Not only that, but he got emotional as he said it, which in turn, made me a bit emotional. When that took place, I could not let it go. See most of the time when I am faced with a situation that needs some attention, I typically can give a reason as to why it is not my responsibility to do anything about it. I give the excuse of how busy I am or how that is a blessing for someone else. But this time, none of those excuses or rationalizations seemed good enough, this time, I was the antidote to the problem. I have to say that I don't have this totally figured out, but I have made it to the place where I am willing to let the Lord use me in the midst of others' mess, to be an antidote, because I know the antidote to all issues, the one true antidote, Jesus.

Quitter...

You know, there have been a lot of things in my life that I have not been proud of. There have been a lot of failures, a lot of things that I gave up on and a lot of situations in which I have given up on myself. I remember once, in school, we had to run the mile run, which to all my chubby kid friends out there, the mile run felt like punishment straight from Satan. We had to run it in the fourth grade and I was determined that I was not going to come in last this time. So I started out strong, even in the front of the pack, but soon I faded to the back of the crowd and with each step, my body begged me to stop. So I remember my third lap that I was going to stop, that I couldn't go on. So I ran across the finish line only completing 3 out of the 4 laps that I was suppose to. I was dishonest, I did not finish, I was a quitter. I also remember that in high school, I was an excellent student, what I mean by that is that I made good grades. The thing of it was, that I made good grades without really having to try to hard. I was one of those kids that was just good at school. But even though i excelled in my first three years of high school, my final year there, I was tired and i was over it, so in a way, I quite. I was still there physically, but mentally I checked out. Luckily for me, my grades were so strong my first three years of high school, I managed to make it out pretty well, but yet, this was another time that I had quit. Why did i seem to not be able to finish anything strong. I read in scripture all the time how Paul calls the Christian walk a marathon and not a sprint. May i say that makes me so nervous. The reason is that I know how I have finished a lot of things in my life, not well, not well at all. Will this Christian life have the same outcome as so many other things in my life? If i ever wanted to finish something well, it is my Christian walk, it is my walk with the Lord. So I have come to a resolve in my life, that I am going to finish, not limping over the finish line, but running and running well. Nothing in my life has ever been so worth it. Because me finishing this race well impacts my family, friends, and people that I minister to. So i refuse to be a quitter. Even if i fall, even if I stumble, I am finishing this race. Even though a lot in my life I have been a quitter, I am not going to quit this. I am going to finish the race and I am going to get the prize, that is my resolve, that is my goal and that is what I am living for. The good news is, I am not running the race alone, I have the hope of glory living through me, so how can I fail if I am running with the king of kings and the Lord of Lords? So I am not longer going to be labeled as a quitter, even though that is what I have been all my life, I am going to cross that finish line, because it is the cross that spurs me on...