Remember to stride...

Saturday, December 19th, 2020

"Who you become while you are waiting is as important as what you are waiting for." -Nicky Gumbel

   The journey is always the thing I want to rush past to get to the destination. If you are anything like me, I am all about the goal; if there is a shortcut I am looking for it, who wants to take their time on the in between? Exactly! But I have been learning that the journey is necessary throughout my life, the process is robust, and that the waiting is not punishment but preparation. Thank you, Pastor Mike Todd, for that reminder. I have been on a journey for the last twenty-two years, yes, twenty-two years. For some of you reading this, that is longer than the entirety of your life. For others, it is but a snapshot of your life. I have been on an educational journey to get my college degree and my graduate degree. Twenty-two years. I wish that I could tell you that I have been excellent in the entirety of the journey, but that is not true. I have whined, rebelled, cried, been angry, been bitter, and all the emotions in between. 

  I started my college career at Samford University in 1999; yes, I know; go ahead and sing the Prince song lyrics, I get it. When I went off to school, my parents were in marital strife. They had their good years, that head their rough years, yet they seemed always to be able to figure it out. Yet, with everyone out of the house except for my little brother, things got worse rather than better. This tension only continued, and the strain grew to a breaking point. I was aware of all that was going on, yet I was going through my struggles, adjusting to college life, and figuring out how to pay for it. It all came to a head at the end of my first semester, and I decided to go back home to support my family and be there for my little brother; not an easy one; this meant that my college journey was going to be put on hold. 

  Going back home was no walk in the park; there was much in my family that had become unraveled. I just stepped in and was present for my little brother. I tried to love my mom well and tried to have a somewhat normal relationship with my dad, which was always a struggle up to that point. I tried to be a friend to my little brother and look after him and, in the meantime, tried to hold on to my faith that seemed to be slipping through my fingers in light of the circumstances that I found myself in. I felt like God wasn't keeping his side of the bargain; I didn't sign up for this, I didn't want to be home, I didn't want the responsibility of taking care of a young human, and I definitely didn't want to be helping my parents in their marital issues, yet here I was. 

  My parents ended up getting a divorce, my mom ended up moving to Indiana with someone she decided to walk into a relationship with, my younger brother went with her. I was left at my house with my dad that was mourning the loss of his marriage in his way. I had a former youth pastor reach out to me and invite me to step into my calling in ministry. I was a bit reluctant to do so for so many reasons, but I relented and took a step. The school conversation came up, and I told him that I would look into it. As I looked into it, I realized that the obstacle for me to go to school was more extensive than I thought. The loan that I took out to pay for school was due immediately, and needless to say; I did not have the means to pay it. So I began working and interning in the meantime. I would avoid the topic of school because it made me feel less than all of my friends were pursuing their goals and dreams via walking through their education without any hiccups, so it seemed. I was holding all of these emoticons and hurts in because I thought strong meant that you didn't talk or deal with the hurts. This came to a breaking point one Sunday in church, we had a guest worship leader who was very in tune with the Holy Spirit, and while he was leading us, he said that he sensed that there was someone in the room which was caring more than they could handle and was mad at God for the hand that He seemed to deal them. Well, I knew that he was talking to me, and I started to cry, and the dam broke on all that had been building within me. I shared with the group all that was going on and what the obstacles were with school. A few days after this very vulnerable moment, I received a phone call from a former Sunday school teacher, and he asked me what was standing in the way of school, and I told him, and he told me that he felt led to help and asked if I would allow him to help, reluctantly I said "yes." 

  It took a while for the obstacle to be removed for school to happen, but eventually, it did happen. There were more following; there always seemed to be a problem with financial aid or something that had to do with finances. I also started dating a young lady, moved churches, and then got a full-time opportunity to step into a full-time ministry position. Of course, I accepted it. Still, this tap on my shoulder about the school and those that I worked with continue to remind me about school. I got married, begin having kids, stepped into school online for a while, then moved churches, and this church moved at a breakneck pace, not leaving much extra time for anything outside of being a part of my family. Yet aging, the tap on my shoulder never left, then we moved churches again and started the process of getting acclimated all over again. Still, school was always in the recesses of my mind, not that I needed it to do what I was doing, but because it was a matter of obedience. Then after a few years, an opportunity became available for us to move closer to home, which is Atlanta, and we knew it was right. So we stepped. 

  As we became acclimated to our new ministry invitation and our new city, I had an opportunity to receive assistance with school. As I was presented with this unique opportunity, I was remainder about a graduate school that would allow one student a year to step into the graduate program as long as they could document all the learning they received on their journey to supplement for an undergrad diploma. The requirements were daunting, and even if they could provide enough evidence, the initial semester would be a trial run to see if you could handle the weight of a graduate program. I began the journey of collecting all the information and applying, and to my surprise, I was accepted. I was very nervous about my first semester because it would set the tone for the remainder of my graduate school journey. It had also been a while for me to engage with school while having a full-time job, marriage, and three kids. Was I crazy for trying? Or is this just what obedience looks like? 

Matthew 7:24-27 NIV says this, 

24 "Therefore, everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25 The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.26 But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. 27 The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash."

   Even though you are obedient, it doesn't mean that it is easy. It is all about the foundation, the storm still comes, but you can weather the storm because of the foundation. The storm raged, balance a graduate program, being a daddy, husband, camp speaker, full-time pastor, and friend is stormy. There were moments that I wanted to quit; there were moments where I questioned why I was doing this. The reason I was doing it wasn't so people would think more of me, but because I had been invited to go on a journey with the King, one that would refine me and make me more like the King. May I pause here and ask you a question? What is the journey you have been invited to? How is it going? Do you know that in due time through the process, you will look more like the King? Do you know that the journey is not punishment but preparation? Do you know you have been invited to stride with the King and not strive for something you think will fulfill you? The King is enough; stride with Him. 

Matthew 11:28-30 MSG says, 

28 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

   The invitation is to walk with the King and stride with him. The invitation is to trust him and allow Him to be enough for the journey. The school's journey was leveraged to reveal to me that I could not do it alone and that I had been invited to stride with the King and we would get to the destination, but the journey was necessary and preparation for the next leg of the journey. 

 After a heck of a journey, after a lot of self-doubts, a lot of sacrifice by my family, a lot of stress-filled hours, after a lot of support from many around me, I graduated with my Master's degree. I learned on this journey that it was not just about the piece of paper that will be hanging on my wall eventually, but it is more about what needed to be revealed as I walked with the King and trusted Him with the next step. There were moments on the journey where I did not journey well, yet, His grace was sufficient. Why did I take the time to write this? Well, for a couple of reasons, the first, it comes back to obedience. This is me continuing to be obedient. The other reason is for you, yes you, maybe you needed a little encouragement to keep going and a bit of a reminder that God is faithful. It says this in the book of Philippians in the first chapter, the sixth verse, "6 being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

    God didn't bring you this far on the journey to leave you here. Stride with him and say "yes" to your next step of obedience in faith. Know that sometimes the storms will rage, but the King's firm foundation is more than sufficient. Remember to stride with the King and not strive for things. 

Nick

Four years...

 
      I used to think that I was someone that was resilient; I’d see the ‘silver lining’ in whatever came my way. I‘m realizing now, that I am less that way than I thought. It’s funny, you really don’t know you who are until you go through something hard. I feel like pain is a magnifying glass on you, allowing you to see who you really are. Unfortunately I have had ample opportunities to see who I am through this magnifying glass of pain. On some occasions, I haven’t  minded what I saw. On others, I was saddened by what was revealed. But you see the older I get, the more okay I am  with what is revealed. I am figuring something out: the only way to truly make a stride at getting better is to know what’s truly underneath. The really good news is that I am loved, warts and all, by my Heavenly Father. It has taken me a really long time to understand and get a grasp on this. I‘m a performer, presenting what I think people want to or need to see. I am the one that will go great lengths to hide what is truly going on in my heart. But the problem with pain is, it cuts away the pretend to get to the authentic. It allows you to see what is really going on and what is truly underneath it all. It also wears out your pretend muscle. You know, that muscle that you use to hide. It wears it out so that it no longer works. All that is left is you.
     What I have learned about me through pain is this: I’m not as strong or as smart as I thought.  I am not as self reliant and way more broken than I thought. The person that I lie to the most is me. I need others way more than I want to.  Memorizing scripture doesn’t erase the pain that I am experiencing. The cliche things that I used to say just don’t seem to work for me anymore. It’s okay to feel.
     I have also learned that I don’t have to always have it together. I don’t have to always say that I am fine. I don’t always have to force a smile if that is not what I am feeling on the inside. It’s okay if I need to lay in the bed for just another moment in order to garner the strength to face today. I don’t spend time with the Lord to check it off of a box, but to sit with my best friend and be reminded of who I really am.
     You might be wondering where all these thoughts are coming from? What pain am I referring to?The reason all these thoughts are in my head is because I just passed the four year anniversary of my brother, Tony, being killed in a motorcycle accident. You know what, I am still very sad at times. Not all the time, but more than I thought I would be. I see my sons play together from time to time and it makes me both happy and sad. I am happy that my boys love each other.  But I am sad because I had a love like that with Tony and now he’s not here to share it. This isn’t to takeaway from the relationship with my other brothers. Tony and I had something special. I didn’t have to say a word and he would know what I was thinking. He could call me out about something that was lacking and I could receive it.
     The thing I’m missing most right now is Tony’s smile. It would be like finding  a unicorn because it was rare with most people. But I could make it happen more often than not! I also miss his hugs; I do. His laugh was unmistakable. What I have realized is, I still really miss him. I miss him a lot. I miss him more when I talk to his daughter and see her face, because I see him looking back at me.
      I think the biggest takeaway from all of this is that it’s okay to still miss my brother and be sad from time to time. It’s ok because I am loved right where I am, and I am loved strong by God. He has never based his love for me on how well I fake being okay.  He has always loved me full on “while yet I was a sinner, he died for me.” That means, that at my worst, He loved my best. Even though it has been four years and I get sad when I see my boys play, or a Teddy Pendergrass song comes on it’s okay and I am still fully loved. I can be in process because it is about the process! The refining that comes through the magnifying glass of pain.
      So in another four years when I get sad by seeing a Black and Mild package or a Hilton Head island magnet, it’s okay. It’s ok because I know that I’m being refined, it’s just taking longer than I thought.

Stepping into best...

Some months ago, I was spending some time with the Lord and instead of doing what i normally do when I spend time with the Lord, that would be talking, I was listening. Or a better way to state it, I was being still. As I was being still, I felt this impression that it was time to go back  towards home. My family currently lives in Denton, Texas and home is Atlanta, GA. That is about a 14 hour drive. Another side note to this story, I did not have a job in Atlanta, I am all about following the Lord, as long as it is convenient. That pains me to say, but it is as transparent as I can be. So i did what any sane follower of Jesus would do, I ignored the invitation back towards home. Don't worry I made a really strong case why I was right and why what the Lord had invited me to do didn't make any sense. So I kept walking in my direction. 

     Yet the invitation kept being presented to me. Then it kept being presented to me. Let me give you some free information, when Jesus invites you into something, it is best to accept the invitation. Also, you want what he is offering, trust me. So finally, I told Jesus, "if you want me to go towards home, then you have to make a way. Because currently, there is not a way as far as I can tell." Here comes more free info. don't challenge Jesus. He will always exceed the challenge, not always the way you think, but there has never been a challenge that He has been issued that was not overcome. You remember what death tried to do, He ended up dunking on death. I'll press on. A few weeks later I was doing a camp with a buddy of mine and he looked at me and asked, "So when are you going to come back home?" I am not sure if that was exactly what he said, but that is what I heard. I was a little taken back. A few days later I found myself having a conversation with the pastor of his church talking about an opportunity they had available and we both thought that it would be a good fit for me. I failed to mention that this opportunity was south of Atlanta, Atlanta is home.  So we decided that we would continue to talk and to see where this would lead. 

     When I arrived back to Dallas, my wife an I went on a date. I decided that this would be the time to let her know all that was going on in my heart. I told her about the tug back home, I told her about the opportunity that presented itself, and I admitted that I wanted to go back towards home. One of the main reasons I wanted to go home, outside of wanting to be obedient,  was to be closer to my parents and enjoy even more the relationship with my dad. (My dad and I haven't always been close. But due to the Lord leveraging some hard things, him and I are now buddies.) I began crying as I was talking to my wife and as I started to cry she began to cry. Ladies, when you begin to cry, the men in your life are unsure as to what needs to be done. I thought I broke her. Then I asked a very dangerous question, "Why are you crying?" She said, "Me too..." She was feeling the same things about going back towards home. So we decided that no matter what, we were going to head back home. Now all I had to do was to secure a job and tell my friend/lead pastor. 

     I called my pastor and told him I was going to come and see him and I was bringing him coffee. Things typically go better over coffee in my experience. So I went to his house and I told him everything. After I was done spilling my guts and getting over the sick feeling in my stomach, he looked at me and said, "Nick, that sounds right. I don't have any checks in my spirit." Yet another affirmation. I thought in that moment, "I guess we really are going back towards home." 

     The next few weeks were crazy. Things were progressing with the Atlanta opportunity. It was a great fit, but not the best fit. Then all of a sudden, things slowed down with that opportunity. Laura and I both thought that was a bit strange. But we kept walking and trusting. Then we had an end date for work in Dallas, we began to get a little nervous. Then, I felt prompted to send a text to a pastor in TN who had asked me to be his teaching pastor many months prior. I told him that I was looking to go back towards home and wanted to see if the opportunity he contacted me about was still available and he told me that it was still available for me. So we continued to walk and explore that opportunity. Both the Atlanta and the Tennessee opportunity continued to progress. Our prayer during that time was Jesus make it clear. As we continued to walk, that's exactly what he did. We finally realized that He made a way and opened the best door, that door was TN. This journey reminds me of a story about Jesus and one of his disciples on the sea and in a boat. Jesus was on the water, skiing like a boss. Then Peter looks at Jesus and says, "If that is really you, call me out of the boat." If you are familiar with this story, you know what happened next. Jesus calls Peter out of the boat. Peter begins to walk on the water and then realizes that walking on water can't be done and is crazy. So he begins to sink and Jesus, doesn't get mad at him, but extends his hand to raise Peter up. I can relate to this story more so than I ever have. If you think about it, you probably can as well. See in this story, the boat is a great choice. It's safe, it's sturdy, and Peter knew boats well, he was familiar with boats. To step out of the boat, required trust and risk. But is was the best choice. You might not be convinced of this, let me explain. Out of the boat is where Jesus was, wherever Jesus is, that's best! So for me and my family, we want best, we want to go where Jesus is calling us and in this season, it happens to be TN. TN is where we have been called to walk on water. So we are walking. This season has not been an easy one, it has been stretching. Stretching is necessary. We have to be stretched so we can be best prepared for the next task at hand. My prayer for us, meaning my family, is that we wont cling to great things like the boat, but we will be willing to step upon the waters and walk towards what is best. Jesus is always best.

 

Imitators...

     So, I have been a dad for about eight years now. I can't even count all the lessons that I have gleaned through the the blessing of being a dad. In light of Father's Day being around the corner, I have been reminded of one of this particular lessons. Sometimes when it comes to things I have learned, I am quick to forget the lesson and move on to the next thing. But with this one, it resonates and it refines, so it won't let me go. For a very long time, I was almost obsessed with what others thought of me. I was hungry for the big stage so people would know who I was. I was seduced by the job title so that people could see that I had accomplished something and that I was somebody. I was entranced with who I knew so that people would see that the people I knew were cooler than the people they know. It really was a sad reality. Don't let me lead you to believe that I have totally overcome all of this, I am still a work in progress. But the older I get and the more I listen, the less this is becoming what it is all about. I have begun to realize that I am okay if the world does not stand and notice me, I am okay if my title isn't more amazing than the next guy's, I am even okay that if the stages I grace are in my community and not on a national scale. I have begun to discover what is most important. First, it is okay that I am content to be loved by God and to be a son of the King. That sounds simple, but that realization was forged through me a dark day. Secondly, I have been blessed to love a woman that truly is a gift and bonus, she likes me. I mean she really, really does. She even thinks that after all this time that I am attractive and she loves me more today than she did yesterday, wow. Talk about being blessed. I haven't always looked at it that way, but these days I realize what a huge blessing it is. Thirdly, and this is where I want to lean in, I get to be a daddy. Yes, fatherhood is not something to be endured, but enjoyed. It has taken me a minute to allow this to take root in my heart. But not only has it taken root, but it has begun to bloom.
     A little of a year ago, my wife, lead my little girl Ava-Grace into relationship with Jesus. Then I got to baptize my little girl at church. This was one of the sweetest moments of my life. Who was I, that would be blessed with such an opportunity to baptize my daughter?What a gift that the Lord had entrusted me with. Then a few months ago, my son Jackson and I were talking about Jesus and he was asking me questions and then he told me that he wanted to ask Jesus to be his best friend. He told me that he know that he made mistakes but that his mistakes had been paid for because Jesus died on a cross and that his dad raised him from the dead and because of this, He could live with Jesus forever and he wanted to do that. I was very reluctant, this kid is only 5, I thought. Does he really get it? I questioned. Then I was reminded by the Holy Spirit to let the children come to me. I did not want to stand in the way of what the Lord was doing. So while my son was in the bed, I walked him into relationship with Jesus. I teared up a lot doing the process, I was overwhelmed that the Lord would allow me to be a part of what He was doing in the heart of my son. I was overwhelmed that as frustrated that I get with my son because he is all boy and forgets his middle name at times, he would allow me to be the one to be a part of this. Then, like a wave that is about to crash, it hit me, this is what a dad does. A dad loves, serves, and demonstrates the love of God. We are a catalyst of the wonder and awesomeness of God. Then I also realized, there is no better calling or place I would rather be than by my son's bed and telling him about Jesus. So many times I wonder, am I doing enough? Am I leading well? Am I enough? Just like a whisper in the dark, the Lord said to me, "Nick, you are enough and fix your eyes on me and follow and allow your son to follow you as you follow me." It says it this way in scripture...
     
     “Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.”
‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭11:1‬ ‭ESV‬‬
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     I am really good at making things complicated, but that simple truth resonated loudly with me. I am okay if I never walk on another stage as long as I am allowed to follow Jesus and have my kids follow that. It has taken me a long time to get to this point and as I have mentioned earlier, I still battle and wrestle with this truth. But I have been made aware that there is nothing sweeter than following Jesus and having your kids follow you. It is also relieving, as I fix my eyes on Jesus and step, my kids will watch that and hopefully do the same thing. Last week, I got to baptize my son in our pool in our backyard. There were not a lot of people there, because my son gets anxious in crowds. It was just him and I in the pool and his brother, sister and mom on the pool deck. I asked him about Jesus and he answered me and then I baptized him. There was applause from the family and a hug from his dad. And that was enough. And I am learning that maybe those tender intimate moments are really what it is all about. The Lord has called me to steward what he has entrusted me with and I am becoming more and more okay with that. So to you who has been entrusted with much, much is required. To you who questions if you are enough, you are enough, because your Heavenly Father says you are enough. May you steward well what you have been entrusted with and may you taste and see that the Lord is good.

     Nick, still in process but taking steps.
         
   

So now what...

     To say this has been a week of transition would not do this week justice. For many in the nation, the person that was voted into office, was not the person they voted for. Many woke up Wednesday morning with a pit in their stomach and a lump in their throat. This weekend, sport's fans watched as 3 out of the 4, top four teams lost. Granted, the implications of this are far less than the presidential candidate, but for many it feels on the same level. So since what is done is done, how do we swallow the pill that I call disappointment. It is a pill that we will all have to swallow, if you have not yet had to take the medicine of being let down, know that it is coming. So what now? When disappointment looks as if it is a mountain that is unscalable, how do you keep climbing in spite of your feeling weary every step of the way. What is the fuel that will keep you going? These are all hard questions, I don't have the answer, but whenever I am at a loss, I have learned that the best place to turn is Jesus. Jesus experienced his fair share of disappointment. The whole being crucified by the people that he came to save, had to be on the disappointing side. So what did he do? I am glad you asked.
     John 18:1-11 says this, “When Jesus had spoken these words, he went out with his disciples across the brook Kidron, where there was a garden, which he and his disciples entered. Now Judas, who betrayed him, also knew the place, for Jesus often met there with his disciples. So Judas, having procured a band of soldiers and some officers from the chief priests and the Pharisees, went there with lanterns and torches and weapons. Then Jesus, knowing all that would happen to him, came forward and said to them, "Whom do you seek?" They answered him, "Jesus of Nazareth." Jesus said to them, "I am he." Judas, who betrayed him, was standing with them. When Jesus said to them, "I am he," they drew back and fell to the ground. So he asked them again, "Whom do you seek?" And they said, "Jesus of Nazareth." Jesus answered, "I told you that I am he. So, if you seek me, let these men go." This was to fulfill the word that he had spoken: "Of those whom you gave me I have lost not one." Then Simon Peter, having a sword, drew it and struck the high priest's servant and cut off his right ear. (The servant's name was Malchus.) So Jesus said to Peter, "Put your sword into its sheath; shall I not drink the cup that the Father has given me?"”
‭‭John‬ ‭18:1-11‬ ‭ESV‬‬
     To say that Jesus was having a bad day would be a gross understatement. He asked his disciples to stay awake and pray for Him, they fell asleep. One of his close friends for the last three years, betrayed him. A bad day. Yet, what did He do. He kept walking. So what encouragement can we draw from this, keep walking. Prayerfully, intentionally keep walking. Pray for wisdom, pray for those around you, and keep walking being the change you desire to see in this world. So I invite you to keep walking. Let's be about something and not just talk about something. Keep walking. As we walk, let's invite others to walk with us. Eventually, we will get to where we need to go. 

Real being real...

     There comes times in every one's life, where it seems as if the world is crumbling around you. You know that it is not crumbling, but it seems as if it is. We all know that perception is viewed as truth. I have to admit, this is one of those times for me. I am sitting in the airport getting ready to fly back to Atlanta and I am alone with my thoughts. It is very therapeutic for me to right down what I am thinking and feeling in hopes that it will help others as well as help myself. Yesterday, I got the high honor of speaking at the home going service of my grandmother. Hear me, it truly was an honor, but just because it was an honor doesn't mean that it wasn't hard. What was interesting for me was it was at the church i grew up in, Mt. Ephraim Baptist Church. What is also interesting it is where I have my earliest memories of someone telling me that they thought I would be a pastor someday. It was a bit of a full circle for me. On top of that, as I was flying in on Sunday, I heard some tragic news that a buddy of mine from Nashville had lost his life in a car wreck, he is leaving behind his wife and three kiddos. Wow, I am still processing this. Then yesterday I received some news from a buddy that was not the best, that impacts his family in a big way. So as I sit here in the Atlanta airport sipping on my Starbucks (there were no local coffee shops available, don't judge me my hipster homies), a question keeps coming up in my head and my heart. The question is this, "Do i believe what I say about the Lord, or do I say what I say because I am suppose to?" If I may be really transparent here, that is a hard question. I have given my life to living what I say. So to ask such a question that could unearth so much, is dangerous. Or is it not so much dangerous as it is necessary? I believe that it is a very necessary question. The answer that I came to is, that I believe what I say. Better answer is, I believe what the Lord says about who He is. Best way to explain how I came to this conclusion is by telling you a story about breakfast this morning. You may be thinking what does breakfast have to do with such a profound question. I am glad you asked. Let me attempt to explain it to you. My dad and I went to breakfast at Waffle House this morning, which I was very much looking forward to, the Waffle Houses in Texas do not compare to the Waffle Houses in Georgia. The ones in Texas or a little off. Let's get back on track, my dad and I sat at breakfast this morning and we talked. We talked about my grandmother, we talked about marriage, we talked about my brother that has passed, we talked about family dynamics, we talked about all kind of things. We laughed, we got quiet, we laughed some more. My dad dropped my off at the airport and I grabbed my dad's hand and told him that I loved him and he told me to call him when I got home and I told him that I would. That might not seem like a big deal, but that has not always been the dynamic of me and my dad's relationship. We have come a long, long way to say the least. The journey to get to where we are now, led us through a lot of pain. What I am learning is to get to God's best and the destination He has for us, typically will involve something hard. I just look at what Jesus endured on the cross, but I look to what happened after the cross, death being defeated and Jesus is now seated on the throne, because the redemption of man has been completed. So this is not blind faith I am talking about, it is evidence faith. I have seen the evidence of the Lord working the hard, painful, difficult things out for the good. So I am going to trust what I have seen and remember that if He is able to redeem the painful things, He is able to do it again. I think maybe I need to repeat that for myself again and maybe for someone who is reading this, He is able to do it again. Redemption is what He does. I know that I have more tears to cry, I know that more pain will come, I know that the way will grow cloudy, but I also know that He will wipe the tears, that He is the balm for my soul, and that He will make a way when there seems to be no way. I know I will need to be reminded of this truth, I am good a forgetting what I need to remember. I know that he will remind me. I understand that this journey will not always be fun, but I know that I don't go alone. I am choosing to trust. I am choosing to remember what is true. I am choosing to take a step, even though that step is a hard one. One step at a time and I know I will get to where I need to go. So for those that are weary, for those that are broken, for those that are struggling. Know He has not forgotten you, know He sees you, know you don't walk alone. This is just me being real, transparent, and vulnerable. I have not arrived and I realize that this is a journey, but I am choosing to continue to walk. 

With Open Hands...

    On Friday, January 2, 2015 I was on my way to our old stomping ground for a little conference called Passion. You may have heard of it; they've put out a few worship albums. I was pretty excited to go with some college students and young adults from LongHollow on our first trip as a ministry. As we were driving to Atlanta, I prayed that everyone would get something great; maybe even something life changing. I never thought I'd be the one experiencing life change. But isn't that way The Lord works? Just when we least expect it He shows up in a mighty way?
     The night started out strong with worship through music.  As I was singing, I felt the Lord begin to stir my heart. It wasn't the amazing music or musicians, but the Holy Spirit, preparing my heart to hear from the Lord. Louie Giglio got up and shared John 19, verse 30, " [30] When Jesus had received the sour wine, he said, “It is finished,” and he bowed his head and gave up his spirit." (John 19:30 ESV) Louie shared that "it is finished" in Greek is "Tetelestai," meaning that it is paid in full, it is sufficient, it is complete. Then he went on to tie in Hebrews 10:11-14 which says,"And every priest stands daily at his service, offering repeatedly the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins. But when Christ had offered for all time a single sacrifice for sins, he sat down at the right hand of God, waiting from that time until his enemies should be made a footstool for his feet. For by a single offering he has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified." (Hebrews 10:11-14 ESV)

     Those words were like a lighting bolt to my soul! Then he said, "based on Jesus completing it and paying our debt in full, we are able to do whatever it is that He has called us to do, because it is finished!" I began to chew on those words and that scripture. As the conference continued, I felt as if every speaker, communicating truth from God's word, supported that initial thought.

     This next part, I remember like it was yesterday! We had a break before the last late session and the Lord continued to speak to my heart. I knew the gravity of the truth that I heard. I knew what it meant for me and ultimately what it meant for my family. 

     You see, for a long time I have struggled with feeling inadequate about what the Lord has called me to do. I would have thoughts like, "I'm not educated enough, not good enough at communicating your word, and am not sinless enough to minister to those around me." The truth that Louie shared fell on my ears in a fresh, new way. I realized that my calling was not based on me, it was based on the One who defeated death, it was based on the One whose enemies would be made His footstool because the Lord had "finished it." I was able to fulfill what I knew I'd been called to do: communicate God's word to the masses.  I realized I'd never embrace it because I was distracted by my inadequacies. That was one of the most freeing moments I've had. My view has changed! The reason I'm able to do what the Lord has called me to do is based on Jesus...not on Nick.  It was as if the Lord released a very tight noose from around my neck. In that moment, I was able to embrace who the Lord had called me to be. 

   A few weeks later, I was sitting at a coffee shop in Nashville when I get a phone call from a buddy of mine that I used to work with.  The normal small talk ensued until he got to the reason he'd called.   He began to tell me how he and his lead pastor were talking about a new teaching pastor position at their church. My buddy shared with the pastor that he knew someone who might fit that role. When I got of the phone, I had a strange feeling that this new opportunity was most likely part of what the Lord had called me to. But, I was now in a place to see and hear it. 

    As the weeks progressed, I talked to the lead pastor, Laura and I met him and his wife and the Lord began to knit our hearts together in only a way that only He can. We visited the church in Dallas, TX,  and I had an opportunity to speak to the congregation. Through that, the Lord continued to reveal to us that this is where He was calling us. Many silent prayers that hadn't been voiced in the open were also being answered through this opportunity. 

     One of the coolest moments was when Laura shared that she felt like Texas was our new home and we'd found our church. It is amazing how the voice of the Holy Spirit and hers sound very similar at times. 

    When we prepared to leave and head back to Nashville, Laura would say that it felt like we were leaving home to go back to Nashville. That's how clear the Lord had shown Himself in this decision. It's funny how just a few days in the place that the Lord has prepared for you could feel so right, whole and complete.

     Needless to say, the last couple of months have been a mix of emotions; uncertainty, excitement and deep sadness. But we can confidently say that "we the people" are heading to Dallas, TX to be the Next Gen. Teaching Pastor at Cross Timbers Community Church. Leaving our Tennessee home at Long Hollow Baptist Church is not an easy goodbye.  We've grown to love and care for this sweet, tightly knight community.  But we also know that obedience is more important than comfort and security; even when it's stained with tears.    

    Sunday, May 3, 2015 is our last day on staff at LongHollow. We are excited for the things to come, but saddened to end such an amazing chapter.  But isn't it true that in order to begin a new chapter the one before must end?

    We would appreciate prayers over the next month as we transition to a new place, new friends and a new home.  As always, we are looking forward to what the Lord is going to do with "we the people." 

Love, The Person Family

Get down with your bad self...

     Well, when I was growing up, I had thoughts of what my family would be like. I hoped that my wife would be good looking and very similar to my mom. I also hoped that she would love the Lord and that she would love our kids. I thought that my kids would be funny, goofy and well rounded. I also wanted them to love the Lord as well. If I may be honest, I think I wanted these things, not because I wanted the best for them, but I think I wanted this because of how it would reflect on me. Who wants a wife and kids that are wrecks and how would that make me look? Now I have realized that I want my kids and wife to love the Lord and walk out their faith because it is the best thing for them. So, I got a better grasp on the "why" I wanted my family to love the Lord and thrive, but what did that look like. Honestly, I have been in ministry for about fourteen years and I have been a follower of Christ since I was in the seventh grade. But I had not idea of how my family thriving and loving the Lord would play out. I thought that maybe we would be the like the Cosby's but maybe a little cooler. I thought that maybe, I would preach a sermon to them before they went to bed at night and they would sit around and "Amen" me. I thought that I would have the answers to all things that they could possibly ask. But once I got the family it didn't quite play out the way that I thought it would. Not in a bad way, just not how I thought it would play out in my head. For example I thought that I would always be home for dinner, hasn't happened. I thought every night of the week we would have a family devotional and pray together every night, that has not happened either. I know some of you are thinking, what? But I have to be honest with ya. So it would seem like my family has not quite met my expectations, and you would be right. My family has exceeded them....Yep, that was not a typo, my family truly has exceeded every expectation I had. Not in the way I thought, but nonetheless every expectation has been exceeded.  

 Let me explain that a little more. See I thought that my family was suppose to look like everybody else's family. But the truth of the matter is every body's family is different. See we have all been called to be a great steward of what we have been entrusted with. But being a great steward may look different for your family than it does for mine. See I was under the impression that I had to do it like everybody else. But that is not it at all. The Lord has just called me to be a great steward. He didn't say I have to be like everybody else. Actually, the Lord has put unique gifts, talents, and desires in my heart and

He has called me to use those for his glory. Like it says in Colossians,
And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
(Colossians 3:17 ESV)

So if i read that right, whatever it is that the Lord has put in you and gifted you with and entrusted you with you are called to use it in the name of the Lord! Everything. In essence, the Lord is saying be the best you for the glory of the Lord. Don't be the best somebody else, be the best you for the glory of the Lord. Honestly, that is one of the most freeing scriptures in God's word. It allows you to be you for the glory of the Lord. This plays out in many different ways in our home. Let me give you one example. I love to dance, I always have, I probably always will. So, as a family we dance. We dance a lot, it is how we finish a lot of meals. After we are finished eating, I, as the DJ, will pick out a song and we dance hard. There is always a lot of laughs and giggles and fun had by all. We dance, we even take turns doing dance solos. You may ask, how is that using gifts and talents for the glory of the Lord? I'm glad you asked. Through our dancing, we are becoming closer. If you can dance in front of somebody, you can be vulnerable with that person. You view them as being safe. So the more we dance, the closer we get, the closer we get, the more trust is built, the more trust is built, the more our family will listen to each other and value what we have to say, so it allows me to speak even more truth into the hearts of my wife and kids. Here is the thing, you don't have to dance with your family, but you should use whatever you love, whatever you are good at, whatever makes you smile, for the glory of the Lord and allow those gifts and talents to bring your family closer together and allow it to plant eternal seeds in the hearts of you kids and spouse or even just those people who are around you. So whatever you do in word or deed, do it in the name of the Lord. I pray that you will get down with your bad self and truly let your light shine!

We are the people...

For the good...

I have been a follower of Christ for quite some time now. I have actually been a Christian longer than I haven't been. Wowsers, when did that happen? When did i get old. It is hard to believe that I have been walking with Christ longer than I haven't been. I read my bible a good bit, and I believe it. I truly have faith. I have gotten really good at telling people to believe God at his word. I have even on occasion, had to do the same thing. But what is crazy to me, as much as I have seen work and seen his hand, I still doubt. I believe the Lord gives us opportunities to live out what we say. He is such a gracious Father that he allows us to live out what our words have already said. In Genesis the 50th chapter, it tells the story of Joseph and how he chooses to bestow grace instead of bitterness. It truly is an amazing story. His brother sold him to slavery and lied and were deceitful, yet Joseph doesn't choose to act out in bitterness and anger, but love. Joseph finds out that his father passed away and his brothers think that Joseph is going to be angry with them. But Joseph in essence tell them that what they meant for evil that God used for good. Wow, that is a heavy statement. What they meant for evil, God will use for good. I have had an opportunity lately to see if I truly believe that. It is one thing to read it and to say you believe it and a whole other thing to walk out. In the midst of storms it is easy to forget that what the enemy has meant for evil, our heavenly Father will use it for good. But as i put one foot in front of the other, I am believing it more and more. Because this is what I know, the enemy will not win, God keeps his word, and my calling is to trust Him. So I am going to trust him. I must trust him. I know that what the enemy has meant for evil, my God will use for good. I am going to walk it out. I must walk it out. God still reigns. Lord let my life reflect my resolve.


- N'Christ

Dare devil...

     So, I have been blessed with two of the most amazing little kids ever. I know a lot of people, or should I say most people say that about their kids, well they should. But, I really believe that my kids are special. Before I had kids, I thought that whenever I was blessed with kids, that I would be the one, teaching them life lessons and showing the way of the righteous path. Which don't get me wrong, I have been teaching my kids a lot of things, but I have been surprised, how much I have learned from them. Everyday, the Lord seems to give me another lesson through the innocence and the faith of my kids. One of these lessons came one morning when I least expected it.
     It was a Saturday morning and, usually our Saturday mornings are pretty laid back and then we have the list that the wife gives that we try to finish before the end of the day. Well, this particular morning, I had Jackson duty. Which means, i try to keep him from digesting, or doing something that might be harmful to him. Which sounds simple enough, but if you are the parent of a crawler/little boy, you know what I mean. So Jackson and I were hanging out on our bed, and I was folding laundry, yes, I was folding laundry. He was doing what a baby boy does, smile, laugh, and enjoy life. So, he was doing what he does and he started heading for the edge of the bed, I did not think anything of it, because I thought to myself, surely, he will stop before the edge, why would he not? I mean, doesn't he realize that the floor is hard and that if you get in a fight with it, it usually always wins? So, before I could blink, this dare devil tried to take a dive of the bed, I don't know if you have ever had one of those moments when the world moves in slow motion and you have a million thoughts fly through your head, but that was this moment. I thought, my wife is going to kill me if I let this kid get hurt, I also thought he could possible have a permanent dent in his noggin if he falls off the bed and I also thought, what is this booger thinking(nothing because he is only 9 months)?
     I pulled my super dad maneuver, caught him and just about had a heart attack. When I grabbed him, he had the nerve to smile and laugh at me as if it was the best time he has had in his short nine months. At first I was a little flustered, but for some reason, through my little dare devil, something became even more alive and vibrant to me. The passage in which Jesus says, that we are to have faith like a child. See, I realized that Jackson took a soaring leap off the bed because he trusted his Father. He knew that I would catch him. He didn't think that, if I take this leap, this, that or the other could happen. He just leapt, and left the results up to his Daddy. What a word, because, call me crazy, but I think that is how our Heavenly Father wants us to trust him. Could you imagine the impact we could have on this world if we would just leap and trust. I know the temptation is to count the cost, but what if we just trusted? What would happen if we lived lives that reflected our trust of a Father that truly is trustworthy?
     I decided in that moment that I want to live a life not so safe, I want to let go, leap, and trust. Just like my little dare devil.

Ordinary Girl...

The other day, for some reason or the other I was looking at new music on Itunes, that part is not the unusual part, the part that is out of the ordinary is I clicked on new songs by...wait for it...Hannah Montana. The reason in which that should be weird is one, I am a male; two, I am over the age of 13; and third, it's Hannah Montana. Anyhow, I clicked on the new release for the new season of Hannah Montana and the song is called "Ordinary Girl". I found this title a bit ironic, in light of the current media frenzy that is surrounding Miley Cyrus. There has been a lot of talk about her racier new image, the fact that she is a Christian and yet is dressing and acting just like every other girl pop star out there, there seems to be nothing that is setting her apart from everybody else. The Christian circles have added to the frenzy in saying that she is unfit to be a role model and that she is "dressing like a lady of the night", I put it a little bit nicer than they worded it. So now I am thinking about all of this and I click 'buy', because I was intrigued. I listened to the song and instead of the response of, "what a bad example, what a let down," my response caught me off guard; my heart went out to her. Just a little disclaimer before I lose you: I do not think it is appropriate at all for young girls to promote their bodies instead of their talent, or do I think that anyone bearing the title of Christian should look just like the world. Now that we have that out of the way let us continue, shall we? My heart truly did break for her. I thought to myself, here is a seventeen old girl, who loves the Lord, yet has stumbled, and the community of believers that is suppose to encourage and help her back up has thrown stones. As I think about the response some followers of Christ have given, I had to ask my self a very piercing question, "what would Jesus do with Miley Cyrus?" Would he persecute her or love her? Would he call her names and boycott her or would he lover her? Would he help her up if she fell, or would he kick her why she is down? The Jesus that I read of in the Bible, when faced with an opportunity to persecute someone caught in sin, gave them love instead. Well, if we bear the name of Christ, shouldn't we love people the same way he did? Shouldn't we, instead of kicking those that have fallen, help them up? This was a question that haunted me. I don't want to be the person that picks out the spec in others eyes while I have a tree sticking out of mine. Lord, please don't let me be that person. We are called to stand up for what is right, but we are also called to Love. So how can we do both? Well, instead of telling all of our friends how horrible we think this struggling seventeen year old is, maybe we write her an encouraging note. A note about how we understand how hard it is to live out your faith in the public eye; that she should hang in there. Or maybe we pray for her everyday; pray that the Lord would make her path straight. I don't know all the answers, but I do know that there has to be a better way. It is amazing what you can learn just by listening to a song. Who knew that God would teach me a lesson from Hannah Montana? I pray that when given the choice whether to throw the stone or bestow love on someone that does not deserve it, that we will choice what Christ chose. Instead of casting the stone, he got up on the cross and gave his life, so that I could be a part of what he is doing. I pray that I will choose love. Let us all choose love, for that is the way the world will know us.

Anxious...

Have you ever had those times where you are on the cusp of something new and you are beginning to get that butterfly feeling in your stomach? The closer you get to the new adventure, job, or whatever, slowly you feel that excitement start to turn to anxiousness. Then that anxiousness starts to turn to fear and before you know it this new whatever has turned to from a blessing to a burden. It happes so suttlely, that you don't realize that it is happening. It may begin with a question of your qualifications or if you truly have what it takes to do this next thing, then Satan gets a hold of that and places doubt in your heart and that is the beginning of the journey towards fear and staleness. Because being anxious at it's core is not a bad thing, it only turns bad when we let fear creep in. So what do you do, what can you do? I am going to say...trust! Not in your own abilities and skills, but trust the one in which the world cowers at his voice. Trust God, because he in which has called you, will be faithful to complete what he has called you to do! Trust!



Much love,
Nick

Antidote...

I am a people watcher, I think I have mentioned that before. Now, when I say a people watcher I am not talking about being a creeper. When I say a people watcher, that means that I watch people, how they respond to other people, the faces they make, and just their personalities. I think I have always been that way. With people watching you begin to pickup on what is bothering people and the needs of people. Which when confronted with other's issues, you are forced to make a decision, either ignore the problem or help with the problem. I would have to say, it use to be a lot easier to ignore the problem. I would always ask myself, "what can I do?" Or I would make myself feel better by saying that someone else will help, even if I don't know who that is or when that would be, that would make me feel better about myself. But the older I get and the more I am trying to become, or should I say, the more I am made to look like Christ, the harder it is becoming to look the other way. May I say, that makes my life a little bit more complicated, because you can't help everybody. Isn't that what the popular thought is these days, you are only one person, what can you do. I have to say, I have used that as an excuse for a long time, but then I came face to face with a situation that changed things for me.
I had the privilege of teaching an abstinence class a few weeks ago and I always ask the kids some questions to start out the classes. One of the questions I asked the class was what is their family goal. Meaning, what would there perfect family look like. Most of the answers consisted of women who look like Beyounce and good in the question, but one of the answers i received from the students perplexed me and the class, he said his perfect family would consist of him having a dad... yes this was a pin drop moment. You know, one of those times you could hear a pin drop because of the silence. Not only that, but he got emotional as he said it, which in turn, made me a bit emotional. When that took place, I could not let it go. See most of the time when I am faced with a situation that needs some attention, I typically can give a reason as to why it is not my responsibility to do anything about it. I give the excuse of how busy I am or how that is a blessing for someone else. But this time, none of those excuses or rationalizations seemed good enough, this time, I was the antidote to the problem. I have to say that I don't have this totally figured out, but I have made it to the place where I am willing to let the Lord use me in the midst of others' mess, to be an antidote, because I know the antidote to all issues, the one true antidote, Jesus.

Quitter...

You know, there have been a lot of things in my life that I have not been proud of. There have been a lot of failures, a lot of things that I gave up on and a lot of situations in which I have given up on myself. I remember once, in school, we had to run the mile run, which to all my chubby kid friends out there, the mile run felt like punishment straight from Satan. We had to run it in the fourth grade and I was determined that I was not going to come in last this time. So I started out strong, even in the front of the pack, but soon I faded to the back of the crowd and with each step, my body begged me to stop. So I remember my third lap that I was going to stop, that I couldn't go on. So I ran across the finish line only completing 3 out of the 4 laps that I was suppose to. I was dishonest, I did not finish, I was a quitter. I also remember that in high school, I was an excellent student, what I mean by that is that I made good grades. The thing of it was, that I made good grades without really having to try to hard. I was one of those kids that was just good at school. But even though i excelled in my first three years of high school, my final year there, I was tired and i was over it, so in a way, I quite. I was still there physically, but mentally I checked out. Luckily for me, my grades were so strong my first three years of high school, I managed to make it out pretty well, but yet, this was another time that I had quit. Why did i seem to not be able to finish anything strong. I read in scripture all the time how Paul calls the Christian walk a marathon and not a sprint. May i say that makes me so nervous. The reason is that I know how I have finished a lot of things in my life, not well, not well at all. Will this Christian life have the same outcome as so many other things in my life? If i ever wanted to finish something well, it is my Christian walk, it is my walk with the Lord. So I have come to a resolve in my life, that I am going to finish, not limping over the finish line, but running and running well. Nothing in my life has ever been so worth it. Because me finishing this race well impacts my family, friends, and people that I minister to. So i refuse to be a quitter. Even if i fall, even if I stumble, I am finishing this race. Even though a lot in my life I have been a quitter, I am not going to quit this. I am going to finish the race and I am going to get the prize, that is my resolve, that is my goal and that is what I am living for. The good news is, I am not running the race alone, I have the hope of glory living through me, so how can I fail if I am running with the king of kings and the Lord of Lords? So I am not longer going to be labeled as a quitter, even though that is what I have been all my life, I am going to cross that finish line, because it is the cross that spurs me on...

Play on...

So i have the wonderful joy of being able to play basketball a few times a week with a great group of guys. The cool thing about this group is we are all very different. It is three other guys I play with, their jobs all have to do with finance in some shape or form, so i guess that I am the odd man out. But anyhow, we are all different, which makes a very cool dynamic in our basketball games. I always play against on of the guys. We are always matched up against one another. Our teammates may rotate, but we always play each other. I am going to have a moment of real honesty right now. He wears me out. What i mean by that is, I do everything I know how to do on the defensive end, but he always finds a way to score. I even foul him a good bit, but yet he always finds a way to score. The crazy thing is, not only does he wear me out, but he can literally shot the ball from anywhere on the court and make it. Despite my best efforts, he dominates me on the court. Let me go ahead and let you in on a little secret about me, I don't like to lose. I know you are thinking, who likes to lose. But I am really competitive and for me to go out on the court and play basketball and to only come away with a win, 5-10 percent of the time, is really, really, really frustrating. I love to win, but i think I am learning more in my losses than my few wins. I am beginning to feel that the lesson is in the journey not so much the victory. I can't believe i just said that. But let me see if i can explain. See, the easy thing to do when I lose would be to quit, and to maybe change the teams where me and my nemesis would be on the same team, but that would be the easy thing to do. That would not build character in me, I have learned in my losses that I have to play on. When I lose time and time again, I have to get back in the game and play on. I have realized that the more i play, the better I get. Did you catch that, the more I play the better I get. Sounds a lot like our Christian walk doesn't it? I mean there are times in life where we walk by faith and fall flat on our face, there are times when we fail, there are times when we fall back into that sin that entangles us so easily. But the lesson is, not to quit or to give up, but to play on. I think James says it best, in chapter one of his letter, beginning in verse 2, he says this, "count it all joy my brother, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." I don't know about you, but I don't want to lack anything, and in order to get there, there are going to be trials, there are going to be losses, and there my be some stumbling, but I know at the end of it all, i am going to look more like Christ because of it. Isn't that the point anyways. So the question I have to ask myself, in midst of my failures and "trials of various kinds" am I going to have enough faith and resolve to Play on...

To be like Chuck...

May I say, that as a father of a 16 month, a husband to an 8 month pregnant wife, and the older brother of a 17 year old, I do not get to watch a lot of television. Partly because when all of my duties are complete, I fall asleep when I sit still, the other reason is, I just feel that most shows on TV really aren't worth my time. But a friend of mine introduced me to a show that I heard of, but never got a chance. The show is called Chuck. You may have seen it. The story line is quite intriguing. The main character is Chuck and he is sent all of the governments secrets and they end up being encrypted on his brain. In a blink of an eye, Chuck goes from computer geek, to a very important asset to the government. Chuck finds himself in all kinds of predicaments because of his new found importance. It is so interesting to see how Chuck handles all of the new situations he finds himself in, because now, he is no longer normal, he is something so much more. The more I watch these episodes, the more I realize that I am a lot like him. Think about it, I have the king of kings and the Lord of Lords living through me, and He has invited me to be a part of what he is doing. That can be a bit overwhelming. Just like knowing all of the governments secrets is a bit overwhelming for Chuck. But I love the way Chuck handles it, he takes everything thrown at him in stride and he does not try to do it all alone, he has a community around him, well in his case they are government agents, but for the sake of this illustration, community. As followers of Christ, we need that community as well. Also, Chuck let's what is already inside of him come out. As followers of Christ, we should let what is already inside of us come out in our lives, in our families, in our jobs, etc. It is funny what lessons can be learned through a simple show like Chuck. But the more i live this life as a follower of Christ, I realize that I need to be like Chuck...

Things that make ya go hmmm...

Before I began, let me say that this is by no means a knock on church planters or the church. This is me thinking out loud in my blog. Okay with that said, on the way to work the other day I noticed something quite peculiar, every school I passes had a church meeting in it and then between the school were actual churches with their own buildings. On my way to work, which is about 12 miles away from my house, I counted 9 churches. Yes, nine, ten if you want to include the church in which I am on staff. Nine churches. Part of me felt that I should be excited about so many churches in a small area, because in the area I live there are over 100,000 unchurched people. I would guess that all of the churches combined attendees would be less than 10% of that number. So may the answer to the question on how to reach these people is not another church, another way of doing church, or a cooler edgy church, maybe the answer can be found with a group of people in the book of Acts. See a few things I noticed about this crazy group of church planters in Acts is this, first they were a united group. They were all about the same thing, raising up the name of Jesus Christ. See what I noticed today is a lot of churches are about raising up their denomination, their type of worship, or how cool they dress instead of raising up the name of Jesus. Also it almost seems like we brag about how ununited we are. For example, I hear alot of churches talking about how they are reformed over here, we are Calvinist of there, good grief, at the end of the day I want to know if you love the Lord your God with all heart, mind and soul! Also the church in Acts loved everybody, they really got the statement they will know we are Christians by our love. Let's take note of this and let us love one another. The world is crying out to see an authentic picture of this love. Let us show them this love. So here is the point of all my ranting, if the Lord has led you to plant a church or start one, be obiedient and do so, but maybe it does not need to be across the street from another one, maybe God has called you to be a part of that other church and make it better, I don't know. I just want the thing we raise up to not be how we are different from the church around the corner, but that we have been united by the blood of a glorious savior, Jesus Christ!

the Outsiders...

You know as early as I can remember, I have been trying to fit in. It is a crazy thing, as soon as we are old enough to realize that there is an in crowd, we want to be in it. Pun is definitely on purpose. I remember as early as kindergarten, I wanted to sit at the table with the cool kindergartners, whatever cool is in kindergarten. I remember later in grade school trying to make sure I had the right clothes, shoes, etc. When I was in the fifth grade, my family did not have a lot of money. I remember that the shoes to have at the time were the, Deion Sanders'. They were the stuff. If you are as old as me, you know what I am talking about. Well, we did not have an extra $120+ dollars sitting around, so my parents bought me the off brand "Sanders" from K-Mart, that cost about $20. Well, I was very embarrassed to wear these bad boys. Because I was afraid of not fitting in. I use to think that I would eventually get over this need to fit in when I became an adult, but I found that it may even be worse when you get older. There is this unsaid pressure to live in the right neighborhood, drive the right car, and have the right size television. May i say, it is tiring work to try and fit in. But I am starting to realize that being an outsider is synonymous with being a Christian. Have you read the bible lately, Jesus was the ultimate outsider. He did everything opposite of the way that the world did it. Not only was he comfortable with being an outsider, he encouraged his followers to do the same.
So I find myself at a crossroads, do I continue to work to fit in to this world, or embrace my calling to as an outsider? Well, I have decided that I am going to stop trying to fit in when I have been called to be an outsider and different. You know what, living in that freedom makes for a lot less stressful life. Don't get me wrong, I still feel the tug to fit in and do what everyone else is doing, but I am going to embrace my call to be like the ultimate outsider, Jesus Christ. So with pride and confidence, I would like to introduce myself, I am Nick Person and I am an outsider...

Outsiders-Needtobreathe

Shortfalls of little sins
Close calls and no one wins
Stand tall but running thin
I’m wearing thin

Oh, why are we keeping score?
Cause if you’re not laughing,
Who is laughing now?
I’ve been wondering
If we stop sinking
Could we stand our ground?
And through everything we’ve learned
We’ve finally come to terms,
We are the outsiders.
Oh, we are the outsiders, oh

I’m not leaving without a fight.
I got my holster around my side.
Just ‘cause I’m wrong it don’t make you right.
No you ain’t right.

Oh, why are we keeping score?
Cause if you’re not laughing,
Who is laughing now?
I’ve been wondering if we stop sinking,
Would we stand our ground?
And through everything we’ve learned,
We’ve finally come to terms.
We are the outsiders,
Oh we are the outsiders, x7

(On the outside,
You’re free to roam
On the outside
We found it home
On the outside
There’s more to see
On the outside
We choose to be)x2
On the outside

Why me?

I don't know why he would choice me. Lately I have been overwhelmed by the love of our Heavenly Father. It seems lately that I have chosen my way instead of his, the things of this world instead of keeping my mind on things above, putting on the throne, instead of worshipping the God that is already seated there. Yet, time after time He decides that he wants to use me to get the glory. Why me Lord? I am far from perfect and so many times I will choice what I want and forget about the call that the Lord has laid no my heart, yet, because God is far grander that I could ever hope to be, he uses me. With my scars, a lot self inflicted, with my shortcomings, with my lack of faith, with my indecisiveness and the list goes on and on. Yet despite all I have stacked against me, the Lord still chooses to use me. Why me? Why would he love me? When so many times in my life I say with the decisions in my life that I love me more that I love him. I am starting to get maybe why it is that he chooses me. Because despite all of my flaws, when the Lord uses someone like me to preach his gospel and to be a part of his story, He gets the glory. Because only a God like that could use someone like me. So I have come to a conclusion about myself, I want to be used by God and because of this I want to live up to the name that his has given me, Holy! I want to live a life that is set apart! I am glad that God can use someone that chooses my way, but how much could he use someone that chooses Him? I want to find out. I know why me, so that God can get the glory.

A grandfather named King...(from journal 09-20-05)

Not to long ago, I had the daunting task of going to a commencement ceremony. For the record, graduations are not ever fun, even if it is your own. I would have much rather been doing something else other than sitting at a graduation. I would have to venture to say, that dusting would have been more fun, and I absolutely hate dusting, just ask my wife. I also think that watching grass grow would have probably been more entertaining. Actually, just about anything would have been better than sitting on an uncomfortable bleacher. I think that you get the point, i will stop torturing with my very bad analogies. Actually, one more thing, I do not think that I ever been to a graduation that has started on time. You rush to get there and then you get to wait an extra thirty plus minutes to cheer on the graduate of your choice. While I was sitting and waiting for the lovely event to begin, I decided to take up a favorite past time, people watching. I typically gravitate to people watching when I am bored. There were all kinds of people at this event, which was not unusual for a graduation. There were people who were very excited to be there, which I totally did not get. There were people there that were like myself, miserable. The I saw a sight that caught my attention. A young man, I would say around the age of twenty, walked in to the auditorium, normally this would not have grasped my attention, but He happened to be pushing a wheelchair, that I would say was holding his grandfather. His grandfather was probably around the age of eighty or maybe even older. Most people, I've noticed, when it comes to older people, maybe not most, but some. Seem to have an attitude towards older people that is not the best. Almost as if they are a bother and not a joy. But this young man pushing his grandfather, seemed to have a different attitude. It was almost as if he was pushing royalty. It almost seemed as if pushing his grandfather was more of a blessing than it was a burden. It seemed as if was announcing the entrance of someone very regal and grand. He pushed his grandfather with such care and precision. He navigated his way to their designated area like a precession in a parade. When his grandfather spoke,it was as if he was speaking words of gold the way his grandson hung on every word. It was as if he cherished everything his grandfather had to say. It was amazing to see the interaction between the two of them. Watching these two brought a question to my mind, how do i treat people. Do i treat them with care or like they are a burden. A very tough question to answer and honestly, some of the time I treat people like a burden. But what if i treated people the way God treated them, as if they were precious, almost like royalty? What would that say about the actual king that I serve. Truth be told, they are royalty because the are heirs to the kingdom of God. Maybe i should treat them that way. It is amazing what you can learn from a little people watching. I am not sure if that grandfather's name was King, but i know his grandson treated him that way...