So, I have been a dad for about eight years now. I can't even count all the lessons that I have gleaned through the the blessing of being a dad. In light of Father's Day being around the corner, I have been reminded of one of this particular lessons. Sometimes when it comes to things I have learned, I am quick to forget the lesson and move on to the next thing. But with this one, it resonates and it refines, so it won't let me go. For a very long time, I was almost obsessed with what others thought of me. I was hungry for the big stage so people would know who I was. I was seduced by the job title so that people could see that I had accomplished something and that I was somebody. I was entranced with who I knew so that people would see that the people I knew were cooler than the people they know. It really was a sad reality. Don't let me lead you to believe that I have totally overcome all of this, I am still a work in progress. But the older I get and the more I listen, the less this is becoming what it is all about. I have begun to realize that I am okay if the world does not stand and notice me, I am okay if my title isn't more amazing than the next guy's, I am even okay that if the stages I grace are in my community and not on a national scale. I have begun to discover what is most important. First, it is okay that I am content to be loved by God and to be a son of the King. That sounds simple, but that realization was forged through me a dark day. Secondly, I have been blessed to love a woman that truly is a gift and bonus, she likes me. I mean she really, really does. She even thinks that after all this time that I am attractive and she loves me more today than she did yesterday, wow. Talk about being blessed. I haven't always looked at it that way, but these days I realize what a huge blessing it is. Thirdly, and this is where I want to lean in, I get to be a daddy. Yes, fatherhood is not something to be endured, but enjoyed. It has taken me a minute to allow this to take root in my heart. But not only has it taken root, but it has begun to bloom.
A little of a year ago, my wife, lead my little girl Ava-Grace into relationship with Jesus. Then I got to baptize my little girl at church. This was one of the sweetest moments of my life. Who was I, that would be blessed with such an opportunity to baptize my daughter?What a gift that the Lord had entrusted me with. Then a few months ago, my son Jackson and I were talking about Jesus and he was asking me questions and then he told me that he wanted to ask Jesus to be his best friend. He told me that he know that he made mistakes but that his mistakes had been paid for because Jesus died on a cross and that his dad raised him from the dead and because of this, He could live with Jesus forever and he wanted to do that. I was very reluctant, this kid is only 5, I thought. Does he really get it? I questioned. Then I was reminded by the Holy Spirit to let the children come to me. I did not want to stand in the way of what the Lord was doing. So while my son was in the bed, I walked him into relationship with Jesus. I teared up a lot doing the process, I was overwhelmed that the Lord would allow me to be a part of what He was doing in the heart of my son. I was overwhelmed that as frustrated that I get with my son because he is all boy and forgets his middle name at times, he would allow me to be the one to be a part of this. Then, like a wave that is about to crash, it hit me, this is what a dad does. A dad loves, serves, and demonstrates the love of God. We are a catalyst of the wonder and awesomeness of God. Then I also realized, there is no better calling or place I would rather be than by my son's bed and telling him about Jesus. So many times I wonder, am I doing enough? Am I leading well? Am I enough? Just like a whisper in the dark, the Lord said to me, "Nick, you are enough and fix your eyes on me and follow and allow your son to follow you as you follow me." It says it this way in scripture...
“Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.”
1 Corinthians 11:1 ESV
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I am really good at making things complicated, but that simple truth resonated loudly with me. I am okay if I never walk on another stage as long as I am allowed to follow Jesus and have my kids follow that. It has taken me a long time to get to this point and as I have mentioned earlier, I still battle and wrestle with this truth. But I have been made aware that there is nothing sweeter than following Jesus and having your kids follow you. It is also relieving, as I fix my eyes on Jesus and step, my kids will watch that and hopefully do the same thing. Last week, I got to baptize my son in our pool in our backyard. There were not a lot of people there, because my son gets anxious in crowds. It was just him and I in the pool and his brother, sister and mom on the pool deck. I asked him about Jesus and he answered me and then I baptized him. There was applause from the family and a hug from his dad. And that was enough. And I am learning that maybe those tender intimate moments are really what it is all about. The Lord has called me to steward what he has entrusted me with and I am becoming more and more okay with that. So to you who has been entrusted with much, much is required. To you who questions if you are enough, you are enough, because your Heavenly Father says you are enough. May you steward well what you have been entrusted with and may you taste and see that the Lord is good.
Nick, still in process but taking steps.
A little of a year ago, my wife, lead my little girl Ava-Grace into relationship with Jesus. Then I got to baptize my little girl at church. This was one of the sweetest moments of my life. Who was I, that would be blessed with such an opportunity to baptize my daughter?What a gift that the Lord had entrusted me with. Then a few months ago, my son Jackson and I were talking about Jesus and he was asking me questions and then he told me that he wanted to ask Jesus to be his best friend. He told me that he know that he made mistakes but that his mistakes had been paid for because Jesus died on a cross and that his dad raised him from the dead and because of this, He could live with Jesus forever and he wanted to do that. I was very reluctant, this kid is only 5, I thought. Does he really get it? I questioned. Then I was reminded by the Holy Spirit to let the children come to me. I did not want to stand in the way of what the Lord was doing. So while my son was in the bed, I walked him into relationship with Jesus. I teared up a lot doing the process, I was overwhelmed that the Lord would allow me to be a part of what He was doing in the heart of my son. I was overwhelmed that as frustrated that I get with my son because he is all boy and forgets his middle name at times, he would allow me to be the one to be a part of this. Then, like a wave that is about to crash, it hit me, this is what a dad does. A dad loves, serves, and demonstrates the love of God. We are a catalyst of the wonder and awesomeness of God. Then I also realized, there is no better calling or place I would rather be than by my son's bed and telling him about Jesus. So many times I wonder, am I doing enough? Am I leading well? Am I enough? Just like a whisper in the dark, the Lord said to me, "Nick, you are enough and fix your eyes on me and follow and allow your son to follow you as you follow me." It says it this way in scripture...
“Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.”
1 Corinthians 11:1 ESV
...
...
...
I am really good at making things complicated, but that simple truth resonated loudly with me. I am okay if I never walk on another stage as long as I am allowed to follow Jesus and have my kids follow that. It has taken me a long time to get to this point and as I have mentioned earlier, I still battle and wrestle with this truth. But I have been made aware that there is nothing sweeter than following Jesus and having your kids follow you. It is also relieving, as I fix my eyes on Jesus and step, my kids will watch that and hopefully do the same thing. Last week, I got to baptize my son in our pool in our backyard. There were not a lot of people there, because my son gets anxious in crowds. It was just him and I in the pool and his brother, sister and mom on the pool deck. I asked him about Jesus and he answered me and then I baptized him. There was applause from the family and a hug from his dad. And that was enough. And I am learning that maybe those tender intimate moments are really what it is all about. The Lord has called me to steward what he has entrusted me with and I am becoming more and more okay with that. So to you who has been entrusted with much, much is required. To you who questions if you are enough, you are enough, because your Heavenly Father says you are enough. May you steward well what you have been entrusted with and may you taste and see that the Lord is good.
Nick, still in process but taking steps.
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Nick and the people.