Anxious...

Have you ever had those times where you are on the cusp of something new and you are beginning to get that butterfly feeling in your stomach? The closer you get to the new adventure, job, or whatever, slowly you feel that excitement start to turn to anxiousness. Then that anxiousness starts to turn to fear and before you know it this new whatever has turned to from a blessing to a burden. It happes so suttlely, that you don't realize that it is happening. It may begin with a question of your qualifications or if you truly have what it takes to do this next thing, then Satan gets a hold of that and places doubt in your heart and that is the beginning of the journey towards fear and staleness. Because being anxious at it's core is not a bad thing, it only turns bad when we let fear creep in. So what do you do, what can you do? I am going to say...trust! Not in your own abilities and skills, but trust the one in which the world cowers at his voice. Trust God, because he in which has called you, will be faithful to complete what he has called you to do! Trust!



Much love,
Nick

Antidote...

I am a people watcher, I think I have mentioned that before. Now, when I say a people watcher I am not talking about being a creeper. When I say a people watcher, that means that I watch people, how they respond to other people, the faces they make, and just their personalities. I think I have always been that way. With people watching you begin to pickup on what is bothering people and the needs of people. Which when confronted with other's issues, you are forced to make a decision, either ignore the problem or help with the problem. I would have to say, it use to be a lot easier to ignore the problem. I would always ask myself, "what can I do?" Or I would make myself feel better by saying that someone else will help, even if I don't know who that is or when that would be, that would make me feel better about myself. But the older I get and the more I am trying to become, or should I say, the more I am made to look like Christ, the harder it is becoming to look the other way. May I say, that makes my life a little bit more complicated, because you can't help everybody. Isn't that what the popular thought is these days, you are only one person, what can you do. I have to say, I have used that as an excuse for a long time, but then I came face to face with a situation that changed things for me.
I had the privilege of teaching an abstinence class a few weeks ago and I always ask the kids some questions to start out the classes. One of the questions I asked the class was what is their family goal. Meaning, what would there perfect family look like. Most of the answers consisted of women who look like Beyounce and good in the question, but one of the answers i received from the students perplexed me and the class, he said his perfect family would consist of him having a dad... yes this was a pin drop moment. You know, one of those times you could hear a pin drop because of the silence. Not only that, but he got emotional as he said it, which in turn, made me a bit emotional. When that took place, I could not let it go. See most of the time when I am faced with a situation that needs some attention, I typically can give a reason as to why it is not my responsibility to do anything about it. I give the excuse of how busy I am or how that is a blessing for someone else. But this time, none of those excuses or rationalizations seemed good enough, this time, I was the antidote to the problem. I have to say that I don't have this totally figured out, but I have made it to the place where I am willing to let the Lord use me in the midst of others' mess, to be an antidote, because I know the antidote to all issues, the one true antidote, Jesus.

Quitter...

You know, there have been a lot of things in my life that I have not been proud of. There have been a lot of failures, a lot of things that I gave up on and a lot of situations in which I have given up on myself. I remember once, in school, we had to run the mile run, which to all my chubby kid friends out there, the mile run felt like punishment straight from Satan. We had to run it in the fourth grade and I was determined that I was not going to come in last this time. So I started out strong, even in the front of the pack, but soon I faded to the back of the crowd and with each step, my body begged me to stop. So I remember my third lap that I was going to stop, that I couldn't go on. So I ran across the finish line only completing 3 out of the 4 laps that I was suppose to. I was dishonest, I did not finish, I was a quitter. I also remember that in high school, I was an excellent student, what I mean by that is that I made good grades. The thing of it was, that I made good grades without really having to try to hard. I was one of those kids that was just good at school. But even though i excelled in my first three years of high school, my final year there, I was tired and i was over it, so in a way, I quite. I was still there physically, but mentally I checked out. Luckily for me, my grades were so strong my first three years of high school, I managed to make it out pretty well, but yet, this was another time that I had quit. Why did i seem to not be able to finish anything strong. I read in scripture all the time how Paul calls the Christian walk a marathon and not a sprint. May i say that makes me so nervous. The reason is that I know how I have finished a lot of things in my life, not well, not well at all. Will this Christian life have the same outcome as so many other things in my life? If i ever wanted to finish something well, it is my Christian walk, it is my walk with the Lord. So I have come to a resolve in my life, that I am going to finish, not limping over the finish line, but running and running well. Nothing in my life has ever been so worth it. Because me finishing this race well impacts my family, friends, and people that I minister to. So i refuse to be a quitter. Even if i fall, even if I stumble, I am finishing this race. Even though a lot in my life I have been a quitter, I am not going to quit this. I am going to finish the race and I am going to get the prize, that is my resolve, that is my goal and that is what I am living for. The good news is, I am not running the race alone, I have the hope of glory living through me, so how can I fail if I am running with the king of kings and the Lord of Lords? So I am not longer going to be labeled as a quitter, even though that is what I have been all my life, I am going to cross that finish line, because it is the cross that spurs me on...

Play on...

So i have the wonderful joy of being able to play basketball a few times a week with a great group of guys. The cool thing about this group is we are all very different. It is three other guys I play with, their jobs all have to do with finance in some shape or form, so i guess that I am the odd man out. But anyhow, we are all different, which makes a very cool dynamic in our basketball games. I always play against on of the guys. We are always matched up against one another. Our teammates may rotate, but we always play each other. I am going to have a moment of real honesty right now. He wears me out. What i mean by that is, I do everything I know how to do on the defensive end, but he always finds a way to score. I even foul him a good bit, but yet he always finds a way to score. The crazy thing is, not only does he wear me out, but he can literally shot the ball from anywhere on the court and make it. Despite my best efforts, he dominates me on the court. Let me go ahead and let you in on a little secret about me, I don't like to lose. I know you are thinking, who likes to lose. But I am really competitive and for me to go out on the court and play basketball and to only come away with a win, 5-10 percent of the time, is really, really, really frustrating. I love to win, but i think I am learning more in my losses than my few wins. I am beginning to feel that the lesson is in the journey not so much the victory. I can't believe i just said that. But let me see if i can explain. See, the easy thing to do when I lose would be to quit, and to maybe change the teams where me and my nemesis would be on the same team, but that would be the easy thing to do. That would not build character in me, I have learned in my losses that I have to play on. When I lose time and time again, I have to get back in the game and play on. I have realized that the more i play, the better I get. Did you catch that, the more I play the better I get. Sounds a lot like our Christian walk doesn't it? I mean there are times in life where we walk by faith and fall flat on our face, there are times when we fail, there are times when we fall back into that sin that entangles us so easily. But the lesson is, not to quit or to give up, but to play on. I think James says it best, in chapter one of his letter, beginning in verse 2, he says this, "count it all joy my brother, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." I don't know about you, but I don't want to lack anything, and in order to get there, there are going to be trials, there are going to be losses, and there my be some stumbling, but I know at the end of it all, i am going to look more like Christ because of it. Isn't that the point anyways. So the question I have to ask myself, in midst of my failures and "trials of various kinds" am I going to have enough faith and resolve to Play on...

To be like Chuck...

May I say, that as a father of a 16 month, a husband to an 8 month pregnant wife, and the older brother of a 17 year old, I do not get to watch a lot of television. Partly because when all of my duties are complete, I fall asleep when I sit still, the other reason is, I just feel that most shows on TV really aren't worth my time. But a friend of mine introduced me to a show that I heard of, but never got a chance. The show is called Chuck. You may have seen it. The story line is quite intriguing. The main character is Chuck and he is sent all of the governments secrets and they end up being encrypted on his brain. In a blink of an eye, Chuck goes from computer geek, to a very important asset to the government. Chuck finds himself in all kinds of predicaments because of his new found importance. It is so interesting to see how Chuck handles all of the new situations he finds himself in, because now, he is no longer normal, he is something so much more. The more I watch these episodes, the more I realize that I am a lot like him. Think about it, I have the king of kings and the Lord of Lords living through me, and He has invited me to be a part of what he is doing. That can be a bit overwhelming. Just like knowing all of the governments secrets is a bit overwhelming for Chuck. But I love the way Chuck handles it, he takes everything thrown at him in stride and he does not try to do it all alone, he has a community around him, well in his case they are government agents, but for the sake of this illustration, community. As followers of Christ, we need that community as well. Also, Chuck let's what is already inside of him come out. As followers of Christ, we should let what is already inside of us come out in our lives, in our families, in our jobs, etc. It is funny what lessons can be learned through a simple show like Chuck. But the more i live this life as a follower of Christ, I realize that I need to be like Chuck...

Things that make ya go hmmm...

Before I began, let me say that this is by no means a knock on church planters or the church. This is me thinking out loud in my blog. Okay with that said, on the way to work the other day I noticed something quite peculiar, every school I passes had a church meeting in it and then between the school were actual churches with their own buildings. On my way to work, which is about 12 miles away from my house, I counted 9 churches. Yes, nine, ten if you want to include the church in which I am on staff. Nine churches. Part of me felt that I should be excited about so many churches in a small area, because in the area I live there are over 100,000 unchurched people. I would guess that all of the churches combined attendees would be less than 10% of that number. So may the answer to the question on how to reach these people is not another church, another way of doing church, or a cooler edgy church, maybe the answer can be found with a group of people in the book of Acts. See a few things I noticed about this crazy group of church planters in Acts is this, first they were a united group. They were all about the same thing, raising up the name of Jesus Christ. See what I noticed today is a lot of churches are about raising up their denomination, their type of worship, or how cool they dress instead of raising up the name of Jesus. Also it almost seems like we brag about how ununited we are. For example, I hear alot of churches talking about how they are reformed over here, we are Calvinist of there, good grief, at the end of the day I want to know if you love the Lord your God with all heart, mind and soul! Also the church in Acts loved everybody, they really got the statement they will know we are Christians by our love. Let's take note of this and let us love one another. The world is crying out to see an authentic picture of this love. Let us show them this love. So here is the point of all my ranting, if the Lord has led you to plant a church or start one, be obiedient and do so, but maybe it does not need to be across the street from another one, maybe God has called you to be a part of that other church and make it better, I don't know. I just want the thing we raise up to not be how we are different from the church around the corner, but that we have been united by the blood of a glorious savior, Jesus Christ!

the Outsiders...

You know as early as I can remember, I have been trying to fit in. It is a crazy thing, as soon as we are old enough to realize that there is an in crowd, we want to be in it. Pun is definitely on purpose. I remember as early as kindergarten, I wanted to sit at the table with the cool kindergartners, whatever cool is in kindergarten. I remember later in grade school trying to make sure I had the right clothes, shoes, etc. When I was in the fifth grade, my family did not have a lot of money. I remember that the shoes to have at the time were the, Deion Sanders'. They were the stuff. If you are as old as me, you know what I am talking about. Well, we did not have an extra $120+ dollars sitting around, so my parents bought me the off brand "Sanders" from K-Mart, that cost about $20. Well, I was very embarrassed to wear these bad boys. Because I was afraid of not fitting in. I use to think that I would eventually get over this need to fit in when I became an adult, but I found that it may even be worse when you get older. There is this unsaid pressure to live in the right neighborhood, drive the right car, and have the right size television. May i say, it is tiring work to try and fit in. But I am starting to realize that being an outsider is synonymous with being a Christian. Have you read the bible lately, Jesus was the ultimate outsider. He did everything opposite of the way that the world did it. Not only was he comfortable with being an outsider, he encouraged his followers to do the same.
So I find myself at a crossroads, do I continue to work to fit in to this world, or embrace my calling to as an outsider? Well, I have decided that I am going to stop trying to fit in when I have been called to be an outsider and different. You know what, living in that freedom makes for a lot less stressful life. Don't get me wrong, I still feel the tug to fit in and do what everyone else is doing, but I am going to embrace my call to be like the ultimate outsider, Jesus Christ. So with pride and confidence, I would like to introduce myself, I am Nick Person and I am an outsider...

Outsiders-Needtobreathe

Shortfalls of little sins
Close calls and no one wins
Stand tall but running thin
I’m wearing thin

Oh, why are we keeping score?
Cause if you’re not laughing,
Who is laughing now?
I’ve been wondering
If we stop sinking
Could we stand our ground?
And through everything we’ve learned
We’ve finally come to terms,
We are the outsiders.
Oh, we are the outsiders, oh

I’m not leaving without a fight.
I got my holster around my side.
Just ‘cause I’m wrong it don’t make you right.
No you ain’t right.

Oh, why are we keeping score?
Cause if you’re not laughing,
Who is laughing now?
I’ve been wondering if we stop sinking,
Would we stand our ground?
And through everything we’ve learned,
We’ve finally come to terms.
We are the outsiders,
Oh we are the outsiders, x7

(On the outside,
You’re free to roam
On the outside
We found it home
On the outside
There’s more to see
On the outside
We choose to be)x2
On the outside